By now you know I’m Carrie, but what you probably don’t know yet is that I started She’s Trying to Hold it Together during one of the biggest transitions of my life. This season is proving to be heartbreaking, exciting, humbling, and eye-opening to say the least.
I recently turned 44. My daughter got married, had a baby, and started a life of her own. My son packed up and headed off for college. My mom lives with us. And somehow, through all of the changes, I’m still completely in love with my high school sweetheart.
From the outside, it might look like I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of. In many ways, I do, but this season has forced me to ask a question I wasn’t prepared for –
Who am I when I’m not actively raising my children?
I became a mom a few weeks after I turned 21. Like so many women, I poured everything I had into my family. Every decision, every sacrifice, every dream, every ounce of energy went into raising my kids and creating a life for the people I love. I don’t regret one single second of it, but I am a little lost now. Somewhere along the way, I realized I had spent so much time being “Mom” that I never really figured out who Carrie was outside of that role. Maybe I lost myself. Or maybe I never truly knew myself to begin with. And if I’m being honest, that’s a little scary to even think about.
Instead of dwelling on the scary part, which I did for a few months, I am starting to focus on what comes next. For the first time in a long time, I’m discovering what I enjoy, what I believe, what my style is, what inspires me, and what I want this next chapter of my life to look like. I’m learning that purpose doesn’t always arrive as a clear roadmap. Sometimes, at least for me, it comes on small step at time.
This space is part of my journey. I’m sharing it with all of you because I have a feeling I am not alone with all of these great big feelings.
So, stick around and watch what happens as I take on motherhood featuring grown-ish children, marriage when the kids are off on their own, faith, aging, being a Mimi, becoming an empty nester, finding out who I am and what makes me happy. I’m not promising lots of fun and light-hearted stories, but I’m sure of them will be.
My hope is when visit this space, you feel seen. I hope you find encouragement for whatever season you are walking through. Most of all, I hope you know you are not alone if you are trying to figure out who you are while holding it together, whether you are a young woman, a mid-life woman, an older woman, a new mom, and mom with littles, a mom with teens, or a mom with adult children.
If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU for being here with me.
XoXo,
Carrie